Rye Rap

Over the years I've managed to temper my odd cooking obsession.  Every so often it creeps back into my life.  This evening it managed to mingle in my cerebral cocktail party and rub shoulders with another obsession of mine.  This obsession is a little ditty you know as "Regulate"  by Warren G featuring Nate Dogg.  The product of that chance encounter will reveal itself below.  I need to preface it with the warning that Froggy Fresh, the artist formerly known as Krispy Kreme I am not, nor do I approach the intellectual and creative prowess of Weird Al Yankovic.  The one truth I can cling to is I'm Awesome.  Enjoy!

Quick Note - Please sing to the sweet melody of Warren G and Nate Dogg

[Triple D:]

Regulators

we regulate any stealing of his pies

and we damn good too

But you can't be any sous off the street,

gotta be handy with the steel if you know what I mean, earn your keep!

REGULATORS!!! MOUNT UP!

[Triple D:]

It was a clear black night, a clear white moon

Triple D was in the kitchen, trying to consume

some sous for the eve, so I can get some funk

shreddin' cheese real fine, chillin' all the wine

[Nate:]

Just hit the Eastside of the Pecos St.

on a mission trying to find Mr. Triple D

Seen a truck full of weed ain't no need to tweak

all you taco carts know what's up with 303

[Triple D:]

So I hooks a left on the Colfax and Vine

I need choice ingredients and I'm runnin' out of time

I jumped out the ride, and said "Load up!"

some brothas pulled some gats so I said "I'm stuck."

[Nate:]

Since these hostesses peepin me I'm a glide and swerve

these teens lookin so hard I done lost my nerve

Won'tcha think of better things than some horny tricks

I see my homey and some suckers all in his mix

[Triple D:]

I'm gettin' jacked, I'm breakin' myself

I can't believe they taking Triple D's wealth

they took my knives, they took my Pyrex

I looked at the brotha said "Damn, what's next?"

[Nate:]

They got my homey hemmed up and they all around

ain't none of them seeing if they going straight pound for pound

I gotta come up real quick before they start to clown

I best pull out my strap and lay them busters down

[Triple D:]

They got pans to my head

I think I'm going down

I can't believe this happenin' in my own town

If I had wings I could deep fly

let me contemplate

I glanced in the cut and I see my homey Nate

[Nate:]

Sixteen in the clip and one in the hole

Nate Dogg is about to make some bodies turn cold

now they droppin' and yellin'

it's a tad bit late

Nate Dogg and Warren G had to regulate

I laid all them busters down

I let my gat explode

now I'm switching my mind back into cook mode

if you want sous sit back and observe

I just left a gang of those over there on the curb

[Triple D:]

Now Nate got the freaks

and that's a known fact

before I got jacked I was on the same track

back up back up cause it's on

N A T E and me

the Triple to the D

[Nate:]

Just like I thought

they were in the same spot

in need of some desperate help

the Nate Dogg and the D-child

were in need of something else

one of them sous was sexy as hell

I said "ooo I like your size."

she said "my stove's broke down and you seem real nice,

would ya let me fry?"

I got a car full of sous and it's going real swell

the next stop is the Brown Palace Hotel

[Triple D:]

I'm baking

into a whole new era

D-Funk

step to this

I dare ya

Food

on a whole new level

[Nate:]

the wine in the glass and the bourbon in the barrel

[Triple D:]

Forks

Spoons

We brings

ecstasy

G-Funk

where food is life

and life is food

[Nate:]

If you know like I know

you don't wanna cook to this

It's the D-Funk era

funked out with a gangsta twist

if you smoke like I smoke

then you high like everyday

and if your ass is a buster

303 will regulate

Triple D and Nate Dogg - High Five!  You'd high five too if you
 came up with sweet beats like Regulate

Grand Opening

Welcome to the grand opening of the Bites and Brews blog.  Historically I've been whimsically creative in the kitchen.  My friends mock me to no end about my epic rice bowls and their peculiar contents.  The manifestation of this blog was inspired by my lovely girlfriend when I expanded my culinary creativity to her meals.  The amusing part is I did not even make the meal that evening nor did she participate in the creative process.  Also, I did not eat on a placemat and I do not own pink plates.  Those are both real comments from people upon seeing the photos.    

I dubbed the dish Green Bean Mashed Potato en crute with a Sriracha dressing.  It begins with a foundation of fresh tortilla, taco sized.  Next, a thin layer of mashed potatoes are applied.   Construct the beans like Lincoln Logs on top of the foundation.  Add delicate strokes of Sriracha dressing for the finishing touch.  

I know what everyone is thinking.  Well...I can imagine several thought trains but the one I'm choosing to entertain is, no that is not a  hybrid tostado.  The proper way to eat this is taco style!  The flavors were intense and varied.  The smooth texture of mashed potatoes, the crunch of the garlic green beans, and the kick of the Sriracha dressing.  The soft subtle backdrop of the tortilla  No verbalization can engender the intensity of the enjoyed taste sensations.

Subsequent research revealed that en crute involves pastry crust.  Before the trolls start a ruckus, I don't care.  I think the dish deserves the fancy shmancy name it was rewarded upon it's genesis.  I would strongly entertain making this dish intentionally in the future.  It is simple to make, requires no utensils, and explodes with flavor.  Just imagine what a great backpacking snack this could make...  You can't ask for much more.  

Where do we go from here?  I feel forced to write a few words about next steps as this is the inaugural post and that's the job of the pilot episode, keep the media consumers moving down the path.  The culinary creativity spawned from the crevices of my mind will not stop.  Feel privileged I am taking time to share them with you, the world.  As the blog title suggests this will feature bites and brews.  I like to try new brews and I thought I could share them with you all, both the good and the bad.  On a few special occasions I may bless you with a special Homebrew Heroes post.  These posts will spotlight amazing home brew recipes I've had the honor to savor.  Essentially you get to hear about the random beer that my friends make that tastes good but you can never buy.  Also on the docket for near future posts are buffalo pretzels and the world's crispiest grilled cheese.  

Keep it cookin'......I couldn't resist trying an anchor style sign off.